November 11th

Remembrance Day. I went to a ceremony thing today. I feel like most people on campus forgot about today. I enjoy hearing stories about actual people in the war, and reading their letters that they wrote, just about how they felt or how it was affecting them. I couldn't even imagine what it would be like now.

Also, isn't it weird how language changes? Just reading the letters from the past, during the war and such. I find that they are more descriptive, personal and straight forward. None of this "lol" and "omg" and stuff. And, they use their own words too. Not as many cliches? Yeah. I dislike cliches and I try to avoid them. Unless they're  funny in a weird way. For example I like throwing in a "When in Rome!..." and then people are like, "what?"

I'm getting a tattoo on Monday. It is a green heart with a silhouette of a tree coming out the top. Pretty sweet. It means...a lot of things. I like trees. Trees remind me of my childhood. I grew up on a farm that had a big bush/forest in the back. It meant a lot to me, I could clear my mind, just walking throught the bush. Awesome. It could also mean that I am happy with myself, as in, being with just me. That's deep, right?

Ok, enough blooooooging.

Look Outside

...it's a family reunion of precipitation. Or it was...I guess it stopped. But anyway, it's good to know that all forms of the water family have picnics too.

So, I have discovered that the Hush Sound is really good. I like them mucho.

Also, I am weirdly happy. I don't know why, considering this week has been SAD AND CRAZY!

Coffee!

So I had a bunch of coffee this morning, and I'm feeling quite chipper. I have lots to say. Hopefully I will get to say it all before the coffee wears out.

Anywho, I got my mark for my midterm in developmental bio yesterday (online), and I did surprisingly well, considering I thought I failed. The test was mulitple-multiple choice, so there were more than 1 correct answers, but you had to choose all of the correct answers, or else you got zero (no part marks). So anyway, it was beyond hard. I went to that class today, and got my test back. I actually failed? Weird, what's going on? Turns out EVERYONE failed, and the prof was like, "oh...maybe this system is too difficult" and then gave everyone 10 free marks! Cool!

I have decided something very awesome. Compliments are just the greatest things. I love compliments...who doesn't? So, I've decided to compliment strangers, starting at 1 a day, and then moving up to 2 and then 3 and so on (until maybe 8? That's a lot!). And I'm also going to compliment people I know as well (as many as possible). It can be kinda awkward, but I love getting compliments from random people, eg when I'm buying things: Nice wallet! Gee, thanks!! It's good to know that someone appreciates my wallet like I do. So, anyway, yesterday I complimented a girl on her glasses and today I told a girl I liked her shoes. Both responses were skeptical and less enthusiastic than I had hoped, but I think that's because people generally keep compliments to themselves, and people aren't used to accepting them, you know?

I also love listening in on people's convos. AND I love when something weird happens, but you're by yourself, and surrounded by strangers, and you all just give each other understanding looks.

This morning on the overstuffed bus, I overheard this convo:
Guy: Man, I'm falling all over the place!
Bus driver: Oh, is it my driving?
Guy: No, no. It's just that when I stand on buses I tend to roll around like a puppy in a moving vehicle.

Well said, Guy. I laughed, as I too felt like a puppy on a moving vehicle.

I would just like to point out, that finding complete journal articles for free online is extremely difficult. Just sayin'.

Man, you know what are cool? Dinosaurs. Dinosaurs are just awesome. When I was little (like, 3 and 4 years old), I wanted to be a "dinosaur scientist". Just recently, I remembered why. BECAUSE DINOS ARE COOL! My bf disagrees, but whatever! I predict that he will be eaten by one. Anyway, just think about it...dinos...huge lizards. And some with big back legs and tiny useless arms. How did those tiny arms even develope? Also, interesting fact: pterodactyls and other flying lizards did not evolve into birds, as one would predict. It was the T-rex and Brontosaurus (now re-named Apatosaurus) (the entire group is named Saurischian Dinosaurs) that became our modern day birds. Weird! (Or I suppose dinos didn't evolve into anything, and birds were just there already OR dinos never existed in the first place, according to our Creationist friends). Anywho, maybe I should get into paleontology?

Ok, that was a good bloogage for me. Adios!

Excited for Life Again!

H'ok. How is everyone doing today?

So, school started. Awful. I'm already super behind in EVERYTHING! Today, while trying to study, I made a chart depicting my productivity vs. time. It's pretty great, wish I could show it to you.

My sleeping has become really strange. I'm doing things in my sleep that I am (clearly) unaware of. Example: Last week, I changed the time on my clock forward a few hours. I was very confused when I awoke at 10...it was actually 7? Also, I keep incorporating the sound of my alarm into my dreams. Last night, I had a dream where there were outfits strewn about, and everytime my alarm went off, I discarded one of the outfits. That's weird. But anyway, it's becoming a promblem, as I keep waking up late, and then missing my 8:30 class.

Also, also...I lost both my bunny and my doggy in the last month ...that's just so sad!

What else can I say...work is good. I like making fun of people. Just thought I would add that there.

I like the song Australia by the Shins...

People Are Rude

So, recently I've had a few experiences with random strangers that have annoyed me. I guess this is more of a rant.

1) I was at a health and safety meeting for work, and the meeting included my store's employees, along with KW's and Cambridge's stores employees. Most of the employees were teenagers and they continued to interupt the general manager and talk amongst themselves throughout the meeting. It was super annoying. At one point, the general manager asked me a question, and my response was "Yes, I just did it yesterday". The kid beside me scoffs, "Good for you". Uhm...excuse me? How rude! I wanted to slap him, but refrained from doing so, and just gave him a dirty glare instead. Stupid kid.

2) It was a busy day at the store, and I was rushing to take orders and serve costumers their meal at the same time. As I was scurrying around, I ran up to the cash register to take another order from a middle aged woman. "Hi, what can I get you?" I asked. Meanwhile, the lady decides this is prime time for a phone call. She put the phone to her ear and held up one finger at me "Hold on," she mouthed. Uh...no...sorry, the world does not revolve around you. There is a line up behind you, and I have to get people their food, so I can't stand around and wait for you to tell your husband, "I'm at the mall...yeah, just ordering fries...where are you?" I just walked away and then came back when she was done her call. Grr...

3) I was walking home from work one day and crossing through the park. It was dark, seeing as the time was 9:30-ish. A group of teenagers were walking perpendicular to me and I crossed in front of them. Then, I heard from behind me, "Hey, are you a girl? ...Hey! ...YO!" I just ignored them and kept walking. This isn't the first time that has happened to me either. For some reason immature teens feel the need to heckle me. Why? I just don't get it. Just leave me alone, there is no reason to yell random stuff at me. I always ignore them, because what they're looking for is a reaction.

4) Just today, as I was walking home from work, a guy and his girlfriend were just behind me near the mall. I still had my uniform on and the guy says sarcastically, "Haha, nice shirt" and the gf chuckled along. I ignored him, but what I wanted to say was, "Did I ask for your opinion on my uniform? No, I didn't. Now why don't you go home and be a jerk to your girlfriend, which I'm sure she doesn't mind because she seems like one of those ditsy 'blondes' that fall for douches like you."

Stay tuned for more annoying situations with rude, self-centered people!

My thoughts, my thoughts...

Ah...it's been so long. I think my mind is more creative and ready to be shelled out when I'm stressed.

School is so soon. Summer school didn't really count for me. But then again, this summer didn't count as a summer for me because I was in school. I'm confused. Anyway, I can't tell if I always put a negative amount of effort into school or if it was just this summer. One thing I did learn is that I can put minimal amount of work into a course and still pass. Not a good thing to know.

I have begun work again, after almost year of not working at all. It's weird. I like earning money, but work is gross, actually I don't mind it. For some reason I always get stressed out during the hours leading up to my shift. When I get there, I'm fine.

I would like to add that in the past few days I have bought the following items:
- jeans
- t-shirt
- tank top
- shoes
- shoes (yeah, two pairs)
- large mixing bowl
- socks
- sweater
- scarf
- earrings
- necklace
BUT, I only spent $27. Nice work, Vanessa.

Life With No Money

Sometimes I like to go to stores' websites and shop. I go through their catelogue, or whatever and put the things I want in my "cart" and pretend to buy things. Haha.

Lately, I've been buying my lunches with dimes. And by dimes I mean ridiculous amounts of dimes. It's sad almost...but I feel like I'm not spending money, because you never really consider pennies and nickels and dimes in your total amount of money that you own.

Also, when you're poor, people like to give you things/cash/food and then say, "Don't worry about it! You're poor, so you need it". Well, thanks! I enjoy mooching off of people without the guilt attached. Plus I get free things.

I Hate Life Drama

First off, I would like to correct something from my last post. As my one friend and fellow blogger (hehe) pointed out, I sounded really selfish. That's not what I meant at all. And I think I've changed my mind on that advice anyway. So...disregard that piece of advice.

A lot of weird things have been going on lately that have made me upset, and I am totally not used to it. Drama. I'm not used to all this drama. Somehow I managed to find myself in the middle of a crappy soap opera, and I'm the character that keeps getting hurt. Things keep happening that I'm completely new at, and I don't know how to deal, or how I should be feeling. Should I be insanely mad? Am I justified in yelling at someone? Was what they did really that bad? I DUNNO!

Oh Hey!

Heeey, I'm back. Apparently my mind took a bit of a break. Lot's of random unexpected things happened since I last posted.

1) I confronted that one someone! Yay! So that's done...
2) I made new friends! It kind of branched off from #1, which is handy. It's like 2 for 1! Bonus! Anyway, yeah, my new friends are super awesome! Opinions are similar, and so are our senses of humour, so all is great! I think I already mentioned that in my last post, but...I forgot...and it's too late now.
3) I wiped out hardcore today! I was walking with my (new) friends and I pointed to a branch on a tree that was about 8 feet high, and said, "Do you think I could reach that?" They both said "Yeah" so I jumped. I failed to see the curb before I jumped, however, and I hit the curb, and fell down really slowly, it was weird. I get to wear a bandaid, which is a major bonus! But the significance of this fall, is that I didn't get embarrassed! (Ok, maybe just a little bit) I just laughed it off! This is so unlike me! Usually when I fall, I laugh, but in a sheepish "Oh shutup, [person I'm with]! I don't want to talk about it". But this was an actual laughing at myself laugh. And then all day, all I could picture was me falling and looking ridiculous, so I would burst out laughing again (in class, it was awkward).

I've also learned something very important from a friend of mine. He always tells me to do 2 things: Not be indicisive, and to do things only for yourself, and not anyone else. The making decisions thing is hard, but it actually feels good sometimes to just be like "We are going to Tim Horton's, so there" instead of spending 20 minutes worrying that if you suggest something the other person won't like it, etc, etc. It saves time, and, I don't know...it's good to not lie and be like "I don't care". Because sometimes I do care, but I say I don't so that someone else can decide for me. And the second advice, to do things for yourself: this is good advice! Stop worrying and doing things for other people, just because it will please them. I'm still a pushover though...haha.

AND! I planted my garden! Yay!

Sittin' Waitin' Wishin'

I love being outside. It's nice. Trees are cool. Anyway, that's where I am right now. I'm just waiting to meet someone.

Anyway, that was mostly pointless.

So, I made one or two new friends! Yay! One is my biochem lab partner and she is pretty cool.

Also, I'm really confused by something. Ooh, I don't know if I can even explain it on here. It's about a person that I just met like, a week ago, and we hang out sooooo much. We do things that I don't think normal friends do. If you are curious, and want to know more... (Becca), just ask. Maybe you can make me unconfused.

I really really need a job. Stupid economy. Everyone, you must start buying stuff! If you stop buying things, the economy will only get worse, so buy stuff!!! All the stores are cutting back on hours and stuff, and firing people, because they don't have as many costumers. Now, people like me can't get a job, so I stop buying stuff. Ugh! It's terrible! How am I supposed to afford things like food?

So, my day usually consists of this:
1) Wake up an hour before class (class starts at 9:30 on Mon., Wed., Fri., and at 11:30 on Tues., Thurs.)
2) Bike to campus, go to class
3) Hang around campus, depends if I have more class
4) Bike to my friend's house, hang out there for awhile
5) Bike home, eat
6) Laze around, or sometimes people come visit me
7) At around 10 or 11, depending on when I have to get up, I go to bed

Good story, Vanessa. That was extremely entertaining. Shut up, you know it was.

I find it weird when I see my old TAs around campus. I can't tell if they remember me, or maybe not. I have had a lot of TAs though, so sometimes I have to think really hard as to which subject they TA-ed me in.

God! I am so boring right now!

Sorry, I don't have any thoughts that are contradictory to what most people think right now.

This is the end.

Update

Oh hey. So, suddenly, I have become very excited about life. I can't explain it, it's just really weird. All because of a friend. He really...opened my eyes. I hate that expression, but I can't think of how else to say it.

Anyway, yeah, I have totally been all miserable and avoiding conflict and stuff like that, but NO MORE! I have totally decided to think positively and all that optimistic stuff. Yay!

I made a list of missions to complete, and I call the list Operation, Vanessa is Awesome:

1) Confront someone, and tell them what's bothering me instead of sucking it up and then complaining about the situation to everyone

2) Make new friends in my classes

3) Personally hand in resumes like crazy

4) Realize I am really cool

I need to think of more things.

I would also like to take this time to say that I really dislike cliches and people who use them all the time as if they made them up. Things like "play it by ear" and other things like that. Seriously, use your own words.

Blech

Hi again. I have decided something revolutionary. I have decided to overcome a few of my strange and stupid fears. Here is my exceptional list:

1) I am afraid of the dark if I am by myself: slowly, I am overcoming this through living on my own. Hopefully after awhile, I won't have to turn off the lights and then book it upstairs so fast that I trip and then I think someone is eating me and I freak out...yeah, hopefully that will discontinue in the near future.

2) Talking to strangers (i.e.: ordering food at restaurants): this is just ridiculous and needs to stop. But my fear is so huge, you have no idea. For instance, whenever I call strangers to ask for things like internet and stuff, as soon as I hang up the phone I burst into tears. Haha! I am so lame! But yeah, I'm not sure what to do for this one.

3) The city in general: I hate taking the bus (unless it's the 55 - l'autobus cinquanta-cinque!), and I have never once in my 9 months of living here, pulled the chord thingy on the bus! (I could have had a baby in that time). But, that is hopefully going to change tonight. Also, I was scared of biking in the city, but I biked today! I biked to the campus and back. Yay! And nobody stole my tires! BONUS!

4) Commitment: also known as dating. Haha! I don't know what else to say other than, this sucks!

5) I am positive that I had more fears than this. I guess another would be travelling, but that's just because I have never really done it.

Yup! I am on my way to becoming virtually fearless!

It's alright, it's ok.

Why, hello there! I didn't see you come in. Would you like a drink?

That was weird.

Anyways. Things are turning out to be ok! Actually, I might just be in a good mood right now, and things might be just terrible, but I forgot. True dat! (I think I will try to use old phrases, that used to be cool). Right, so...my life. Class sucks, as usual. But, egh, what can you do. I made a new friend! Yay! And LOTR marathon, this Saturday is something spectacular to look forward to. It's going to be the bees knees!

And...I am not sure what else. This was probably a super boring blog. Sorry everyone. Maybe I will add more later...

Time Moves Slowly

...when you are alone.

I wish I could write like Colin Meloy from The Decemberists. Every song is a new story.
From July, July!:
And I say your uncle was a crooked French Canadian and he was gutshot running gin and how his guts were all suspended in his fingers and how he held'em, how he held'em, held'em in.

That's disgusting! How did he come up with that?

Or from Red Right Ankle:
This is the story of your red right ankle, and how it came to meet your leg. And how the muscle bone and sinews tangled, and how the skin was softly shed. And how it whispered, oh, adhere to me, for we are bound by symmetry. And whatever differences our lives have been, we together make a limb. This is the story of your red right ankle.

I dunno...it's just so awesome. :)

Also, I've realized that I have a lot of weird dreams. Last night, I dreamt of all the music I had listened to the previous day. It was weird. Oh, and I also dreamt that I had a hippy bf, and he had dreds, but we weren't allowed into a restaurant, because they thought he was high...weird.

Extremely Slow Internet

Yes, very slow. My parents have dial-up here, because apparently we live in the middle of no where? That's just their excuse, but whatever...it keeps me off the internet.

Anyway, I am moving into my townhouse TOMORROW!! Yay!! It took me two weeks to get most of my stuff organized and into boxes, and even at that, I got lazy and just started throwing stuff into garbage bags. I have also chosen my living room theme. It's going to be tacky. I have two ugly orange/orange and brown flower chairs, and a gross old couch that seems to swallow you somehow. Also a sweet lamp from Value Village. Yay! I'm just so excited!

AND, I visited a specialist person of some sort, I forget what she is called exactly. Nature something something. But anyway, she gave me a whole pile of things that might cure me. Yay! Now I just need a job!

Hmm, what else can I say...not much, apparently!

Staring Down Stats

I have an exam today. I have decided that I can't study anymore, my brain is full, thanks. I usually go insane over exam time. I'm moving out on Saturday, but I have already packed most of my stuff. I even packed my chemistry textbook in my packing frenzy, which was not smart because that's my last exam...I probably need that to study.

So, I finally watched The Notebook the other day, just to see what all the commotion was for this movie. It wasn't that great...kinda lame actually. I am biased, however; I have never really been a fan of chick flicks. They are just sooooo unrealistic and sappy, and sure, they might make me cry, but they are always predictable and just...LAME! So yeah, that was that. I've realized that I don't like a lot of genres of movies. I hate action films. Sooooo stupid!! It's just a bunch of guys running around shooting people, and car chases and then a random unrealistic love story thrown in the mix. Plus, if they have either Nicholas Cage or Tom Cruise...ew. Oh yeah, and they always say really stupid catch phrases just before they kill someone, like, "How's this for a birthday present...BLAM!" or "Now can we be friends? KABOOM!!" What the heck? Nobody actually says those things while shooting people (well, those were terrible examples, but still). I also resent the fact that Hollywood loves to Hollywood-ize or Americanize history. My least favourite movie of all time: Pearl Harbour. Terrible, terrible. Also, I can't believe that some of these actors get paid so much when they really just suck. Example: Mary-Kate and Ashley. They do not deserve the money they made from those stupid movies. I can't believe my dad gets paid less FOR MAKING FOOD FOR PEOPLE TO EAT, TO SURVIVE, while MK and A run around with millions of dollars because they are terrible actresses. That's just gross.

So movie genres I do like: mocumentaries, Tim Burton films, some comedies (unless it involves Adam Sandler). Yeah...those are good. Also nature videos, haha!

Story of my life...

So, story of my life is, I've always felt like I've been left-out, or excluded from things. Well, I had two older brothers, so it was bound to happen when I was little. But even now, in my residence. I haven't made a real group of friends here. And then I joined this stupid addictive site called Interpals, where you try and find penpals from around the world, and it was just another way to be ignored. Stupid interpals.

This one time, in grade 5, my friend was having a b-day party, but I wasn't invited, because her sisters didn't like me.

Anyway, I didn't mean for this to be a sob story, but I guess it turned out that way. Haha. I'm just feeling kinda lonely I suppose, and that's why I joined that site, to talk to people. But the only people that talked to me are creepers. Sketchy people from Algeria or Turkey (I'm not saying all Algerians and Turkey people [ha!] are creepers). But I am talking to one nice person! A girl from the Netherlands, which is cool. Anyway, I should probably delete that profile so as not to get more disappointed.

And my residence is more gross than before. They decided to play slip and slide with jell-o down my hall, which resulted in pink goo everywhere. The washrooms are gross and the shower room is completely trashed. I can't take a shower, how sad. "Use the other suite's" they told me. No, I shouldn't have to. Besides, that's awkward because I don't really know them anyway (remember, awkward, excluded me...). So that is that. Apparently the cops came and stuff. I better not have to pay for any of this. Only two more weeks here.

Last day of classes...

Today is the last day of classes of my second semester. Yay! Just 5 exams in two weeks, and I will be done for a few weeks..hehe.

So anyway, I'm just going to throw something out there...I'm not a fan of babies. They are kinda gross. Sometimes, they are cute from a distance, but...yeah. If I hold one (which I avoid at all times), I don't know what to do with it. Usually I just hold it at arms-length incase it explodes on me. They are always oozing something. Disgusting. And crying too. I also find them akward. And then toddlers are just annoying. They always want something, and then you give it to them and then they want other things. I'm ok with them for maybe 15 minutes, but after that, it's too much for me.


Another thing I just thought of: in highschool, when I wasn't in grade 9, I would always make comments about the niners, like mean comments, I guess. And then someone would always say "But you were a niner too!" Yeah, so...that doesn't mean I have to like them.

I like the rain. It was rainy today. I like just sauntering in it. What I don't like is how everything is wet when you come inside, though. So I don't like going indoors after I've been out, but I could just walk in the rain all day. And I've decided that I don't like umbrellas for several reasons: 1) if it's windy, they just blow inside out, and then it's embarrasing; 2) if you have a backpack, it still gets wet, even with an umbrella; 3) umbrellas are really only good for keeping your hair dry-ish, but I could just wear a hood, so why bother carrying something; 4) when you get to class with a wet umbrella it leaks all over the place, and it's just ridiculous; 5) umbrella is a weird word.

Ok, that's all I guess.

PETA = terrible

So, over the past few days I have been getting increasingly annoyed at PETA and their lack of intelligence (so to speak). PETA people are crazy. I am against all the factory farms and starving animals etc, but PETA takes things a little too far. There are so many arguments I have against PETA, I don't know where to start.

Ok, so, I went on their little propaganda website and read this one thing about how dogsledding is so terrible. I read most of the comments after this article and I cannot believe how uneducated people are about animals. These are the people that join PETA, they just love animals, and they have no idea what they are talking about. For instance, they think dogsledding is terrible and kills dogs. Untrue. I have been dogsledding (and I loved it! I want to go again, I suggest you try it). The kennel was full of dogs all with their own little circle in the snow with a little hut that all have their names on them. To a crazy uneducated PETA person, this would seem cruel. However, this is so far from cruel! The dogs are all well fed and each of them get attention from the kennel employees. Also, PETA's agruments against the sport is that "it's cruel to have the dogs running out in the cold temperatures". No, it's not. For several reasons: 1) These dogs were bred over generations and generations to be able to withstand the harsh temperatures, they are made for living outside; 2) These dogs love love love love to run. As soon as you hook those dogs up to the sled, they go CRAZY because they just want to take off and go for a good run! Everytime you stop the dogs, it takes your entire body weight to hold them back from taking off again. Also, dog sledders never over-run their dogs and if there is an injured dog, they will not run it. Dogsledders love their dogs, just like you love your pet dog. PETA people also think that the dogs are being forced into doing things they don't want to do. Not true. If a dog doesn't want to run, it just won't. The same goes for jumping or running horses. But PETA will not accept these arguments.

Also, PETA likes to compare things to other things that are simply not comparable to anything. Eg: they compared factory farms to the Holocaust. I don't think anything can be compared to the Holocaust! This is so offensive! I can't believe they can get away with this! They have also compared animal rights to African American rights. Also two uncomparable things. Animals are animals, African Americans are FRIKKEN HUMANS!!! I love animals and all, but they do not feel the same way humans do, they are not as complex as we are. Plus domesticated farm animals are so stupid that all we can really do is eat them. Ha ha. I'm sorry, but it's so true. A chicken does not care where it is, as long as it has food and water.

I have read articles on how PETA "rescued" some animals and then, when they run out of room, they just euthanize them and then throw them in the dumpster. Yeah, that's real ethical PETA.
http://www.thisistrue.com/peta.html
http://www.petakillsanimals.com/petaKillsAnimals.cfm

It's just so annoying because there are so many animal lovers that just do not know the facts, so they join PETA. PETA is really good at using propaganda. Oh, look at the cute puppies being treated unfairly! :( First of all, you do not know the story behind the puppies, second, PETA isn't always telling people what really happens behind closed doors in PETA kennels etc, and third, yeah, puppies...what about the HUMANS that are starving in Africa? Or even here?

So next time you are about to be sucked into the club by the cute bunny wabbit that PETA shoves in your face, don't, because PETA is terrible. Ha.

Alone

..is I. I had lots to do today...why am I not doing them now?

Here are some things that bother me:
1) Why are people wearing shorts and flip flops? Just because it isn't -1000 degrees out, does NOT mean it is summer. Flip flops = summer. It's just so annoying when people jump the gun and break out the summer clothes in spring because #1: what are you going to wear when it's 30+ degrees out? and #2: there are 4 seasons, therefore 4 different times for 4 different types of clothes. Please, put away your shorts and put some pants on. The other day I saw a girl wearing shorts and boots (the Ugg-ly boots, too). Ok, what is that? You are wearing two things that are not made for the spring season; there is no snow out for boots, and it is too cold for shorts, so...what the heck?

2) When people think that singing since they were little automatically means they are good singers. For instance, on Canadian/American Idol, the contestants are all, "Well, I've been singing since I was three!" Yeah, me too. Same with every other normal person in the world. If you meant professionally, you should probably mention that. Also when people think that since they are taking voice lessons, they must be amazing singers. Not true. Voice lessons are to teach you the right way to produce sound. You can produce sound the "right" way and still be tone deaf therefore producing a very loud annoying sound.

3) People who call me "hun" or "sweety" etc. in every day conversation. I don't mind so much the little old ladies who do this, but the girls who are my age especially. I don't understand this.

There are a lot of things that bother me that I probably shouldn't start on (eg: people who aren't open minded), but I don't want to offend anyone. Maybe when I am more experienced in the blogging world I will talk about religion and marijuana and stuff. Ha ha!

Right now, I think I need a hippy boyfriend. Just sayin'. Ha!

Just some random thoughts

Ooooh hey!

So, I'm just sitting here, on a Saturday night, avoiding things. And I've been thinking....

Thinking can be dangerous, at least it can be for me. Things just get out of hand in my mind when I'm by myself. Negative things take over.

I picture my mind as a long hallway with countless doors on either side. Each door has its own subject or topic. Let's say we enter the door of Art. Passed the "Art Door" is a room. This room is smallish, plain, well lit and has filing cabinets. Inside the filing cabinets is files of any art that I can remember, whether it be my own art, or my mom's art, or art I've seen in a museum, it's all the art I have ever seen. Same goes for any other subject, eg: music, math, relationships, etc. Some of the rooms are difficult to open, and sometimes the doors get jammed, like right when I need to get in (during an exam, usually). Other times I lost the key entirely, like the room to the traumatizing/embarrasing memories. That's kinda weird, now that I think about it.

Here is a random song/poem I wrote:
"I can’t stop sleeping,
I won’t stop dreaming
The rain is coming
I can’t wait for it to fall

I’ll just keep living
I’m forced into waiting
But soon I’ll find him
I just don’t know what
I’m looking for

And the days grow longer
And longer and longer until I can’t
Go a day without thinking
Bad thoughts
I push them out

I suit up and go
There’s no reason to stall
I try to forget
That he will come to me soon

I can’t stop thinking
I won’t stop dreaming
The summer’s coming
And I keep working
To live

I try to be happy
When I have nothing
When I have no one
I don’t need anyone
To love

The days get longer
And longer and longer
Until I must sit down and think
Where am I headed?
The path is dark
I will cut my way through

First I will repair me
Then I will look for him
The tiny plant in rows
And rows of weeds
He’s there
Somewhere"

Interpret it as you like.

Job: I need one

Oh hey! So, as some of you may well know, I need a job. Soon. Very soon.

I'm moving into my (rented) townhouse at the end of April, and I am so excited! I have a picture in my head of how the furniture is all arranged and stuff, but knowing my future housemate, that's probably not how it's going to look. :) But that's ok! I am fine with whatever! (I know, I'm such a push-over, I can't help it). Anywho, I really need a job so I can actually live in my house, without using my parents money. So this summer is full of working/taking summer courses and me being a crazy cat lady. (potential cat name = Fuzz Lambington).

So, the job search begins. And if you guys know me, I hate talking to strangers. Finding a job means I have to talk to strangers, and act like I love talking to strangers. This has proven to be difficult. The other day my roommate and I set out for the mall with eight resumes. I came back with five resumes. I suck at this! Everytime my roommate would be like "Oh, apply at (insert store name here)!", I would look in the store cautiously and if there was more than 1 costumer, I would say "No way, too busy. I'll come back". And then I never came back. Shoooot!!! And then my mom is all, "Make sure you do a follow up call!" If there is anything worse than handing in resumes, it's doing follow up calls. It usually goes like this: Me: "Hi, I was just wondering if you read my resume?" Potential Employer: "No, you idiot! We aren't even hiring now! Now leave me alone!" Ok, that doesn't really happen, but my imagination loves me.

Yeah, that is my job-hunt situation. Blah, I hate it.

Studying:

Studying:
what you're avoiding right now
eg: you are avoiding studying right now

That is a good definition of studying taken from urbandictionary.com.

Anywho, what I wanted to say was that I am obsessing over this blog, and it needs to stop. But maybe it's a good thing in that I have another website that I can visit regularly while avoiding studying. Other websites I "follow": facebook, fmylife, other peoples' blogs.

My thoughts on facebook: everyone puts all of their interests and things on there. Like that list of "25 things about me!". Well, now I have nothing to ask you. Way to go, you just made our face-to-face conversation more awkward. I have decided to make my "personal info" page on FB more general.

Actually now that I think about it, the people I talk to aren't really asking me "so what's your fav movie?" and stuff like that. Probably because the only people I talk to already know that about me. I don't really make new friends that often or that easily. I have almost forgotton how. It's exhausting actually, so I avoid it at all costs. I have even stopped socializing with people in my place of residence (in terms of parties and stuff like that), just because it tires me out. So I just sit in my room and look at my favourite websites.

I try to study...I really do! I can never concentrate. I'm even getting bored of this particular post (in my mind there is someone saying "Ok, Vanessa, hurry it up!"). That might have something to do with my sleep apnea-ness that hasn't been taken care of yet. That's another story, another post.

Il Blog

Hello! It's my first blog! How insane! So I've read others' blogs and I have decided to make my own. So, in other words I am copying. But it's also a good place to vent! Right? I hope you will actually want to read my ventageing and my rants.

Anywho, I asked my roommate, who is an excellent blogger, what the key ideas are to blogging. Here are her rules:
1) Don't say anything mean about a specific person (just incase they read it and then they're like "Hey!...")
2) Don't write anything mean about your boss because they could read it and fire you
3) Otherwise, go crazy (a limited crazy)
Sweet, I can do that!

I think I will talk about painting now. I love to paint. Especially guitars. Sometimes I don't even paint to express my feelings or whatever, I just wanted to paint a balloon or a tree for no reason. Other times I will be all: "Oh man! I am so mad I just want to...PAINT!" If I am properly motivated I will paint my feelings.
I love when some people think my paintings are deeper than they actually are. Sometimes, they just aren't. Eg: my favourite painting, "The Bendy Guitar": it's just a guitar. That's it. I will let you in on a secret. It is bendy because I ran out of room. That's actually how a lot of my work ends up - the level of interestingness is directly proportional to the amount of mistakes I make.
I love painting!