Just some random thoughts

Ooooh hey!

So, I'm just sitting here, on a Saturday night, avoiding things. And I've been thinking....

Thinking can be dangerous, at least it can be for me. Things just get out of hand in my mind when I'm by myself. Negative things take over.

I picture my mind as a long hallway with countless doors on either side. Each door has its own subject or topic. Let's say we enter the door of Art. Passed the "Art Door" is a room. This room is smallish, plain, well lit and has filing cabinets. Inside the filing cabinets is files of any art that I can remember, whether it be my own art, or my mom's art, or art I've seen in a museum, it's all the art I have ever seen. Same goes for any other subject, eg: music, math, relationships, etc. Some of the rooms are difficult to open, and sometimes the doors get jammed, like right when I need to get in (during an exam, usually). Other times I lost the key entirely, like the room to the traumatizing/embarrasing memories. That's kinda weird, now that I think about it.

Here is a random song/poem I wrote:
"I can’t stop sleeping,
I won’t stop dreaming
The rain is coming
I can’t wait for it to fall

I’ll just keep living
I’m forced into waiting
But soon I’ll find him
I just don’t know what
I’m looking for

And the days grow longer
And longer and longer until I can’t
Go a day without thinking
Bad thoughts
I push them out

I suit up and go
There’s no reason to stall
I try to forget
That he will come to me soon

I can’t stop thinking
I won’t stop dreaming
The summer’s coming
And I keep working
To live

I try to be happy
When I have nothing
When I have no one
I don’t need anyone
To love

The days get longer
And longer and longer
Until I must sit down and think
Where am I headed?
The path is dark
I will cut my way through

First I will repair me
Then I will look for him
The tiny plant in rows
And rows of weeds
He’s there
Somewhere"

Interpret it as you like.